


Petals as sharp as thorns

by thequadraticformula



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequadraticformula/pseuds/thequadraticformula
Summary: 花吐き病  is the disease that Dahyun has. It won't go away and it feels as if thorns were growing in her heart and lungs instead of petals.She's applied for the surgical removal of the daisies growing inside of her, but she doesn't know if she's ready to forget the feeling of loving Momo. She doesn't know if she ever wants to forget, no matter how much pain she goes though.WARNING: Course language and graphic imagery.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon, Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. PART 1 - 花吐き病

**Author's Note:**

> This work is crossposted on Wattpad and Asianfanfics under the user 'thequadraticformula'.  
> DO NOT REPOST THIS WORK.

Dahyun began to notice it one morning at the coffee shop that they always ate at together before going to school or work. All the girls would meet up and it would make quite a ruckus as they argued over what tables to sit at and what food to order. It was kind of funny when they all walked in together. The cashier would always look over their shoulder at the baristas and make a face. _Here are those damned girls again._

It had just been a normal day. Dahyun was seated across from Sana and Jihyo. Chaeyoung was next to her, arm in arm with her girlfriend Mina. The table next to them had Tzuyu, Jeongyeon, Momo and Nayeon. Dahyun sometimes got embarrassed at how loud they all seemed, but she loved these meetings with her friends.

"Hurry up and tell me what you want." Jihyo said to Sana pointedly. "Everyone else has decided and you know how long it takes for them to make nine coffees. I don't want to be here all day." Sana squirmed as she tried to think of something to drink and Dahyun found her eyes wandering over to Momo on the other table. She always seemed to be looking at Momo these days.

She had her arm around Nayeon's shoulder, and her face was grinning. Not just her mouth, but her whole face lit up when she smiled. It made Dahyun's insides turn all warm and fuzzy. Momo looked to Nayeon's face and kissed her on the nose, making her laugh. They were cute together, Dahyun thought. There was no denying that, it was just that... when Dahyun saw them together, it brought a deep sadness to her. She wished it was her in Momo's arms. She wished it was her getting the kiss on the nose. She wished it was her that could see that smile when she woke up in the morning.

A tight feeling was beginning to form in her chest. It must be the jealously kicking in. She rubbed her chest slightly, repressing the need to cough.

"You ok Dubu?" Sana asked her. She linked her legs around Dahyun's under the table, a comforting gesture, but something Dahyun didn't want right now. She felt really sick all of a sudden.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom." She mumbled, untangling her legs from Sana's and stumbling away.

She tried to hold her composure long enough to enter a cubical but failed. A wave of nausea flowed down her spine in a hot flush and she leaned heavily on the closest sink in a cold sweat. She coughed and coughed and coughed. And when she recovered, she saw it.

A single petal coated in blood lay in the sink.

At first, Dahyun thought she was going crazy. She picked up the thing and ran it under some water to take a good look. She was right. It was a petal. The petal of a white daisy, perfect, as if it had just been plucked from the head of a flower in a garden. It was pretty.

She thought about telling the girls but decided against it. This was crazy. What if it was just all in her head? She flushed the petal down a toilet and rinsed out her mouth with water. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was normal. Everything was normal. Dahyun chose to ignore the petal. She told herself again and again that it was just in her head.

She straightened her shirt, tied back her hair and walked out of the bathroom, making sure that her expression didn't betray her resolve. Much to her dismay, everyone on the table was looking at her as she returned to her seat in front of Sana.

"You were in there for an awfully long time." Jihyo said. Her expression was in that one she always got when she was worried. Everyone liked to call it her 'mum face'.

Dahyun shook her head and saw that her coffee had already been served. It looked cold. She must have been in the bathroom for a long time.

"Nothing was wrong Jihyo." She stated. She took a sip from the cup and she grimaced when she felt that it was cold.

"Dahyun was just taking a huge shit!" Chaeyoung yelled. Mina grabbed her in a headlock and covered her mouth. The whole restaurant seemed to be looking in their direction now. Jeongyeon was trying not to laugh, hunched over the table and clutching her stomach. Tzuyu looked as unimpressed as always, but her face was red with second hand embarrassment. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was really sensitive.

Dahyun felt her own cheeks heat up. Though she would under different circumstances find one of Chaeyoung's crude comments hilarious, right now, she just felt sick. She couldn't find it in her to laugh.

She placed down her cold cup of coffee, hearing the clink of the china as it came into contact with the plate. She realised her hands were shaking. She quickly placed them under the table. She felt cold and hot at the same time.

"Dahyunie?" She heard a voice from the other end of the table. She looked up only to realise that everyone was standing to leave. Why was she so out of it today?

It was Momo that had called her. She was standing arm in arm with Nayeon, both of them looking at her with concerned expressions. "Dahyunie, are you alright?" She asked again.

Her voice. Dahyun thought to herself. Her voice was the most beautiful thing on the earth. Especially when it was saying her name like that.

"I'm fine. I'm just a little... tired." She mumbled, looking at Momo and Nayeon's shoes. But she knew that there must be something else going on.

Dahyun had almost forgotten about the petal by the time the others found out. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

She was out with Jihyo and Momo only a week later for a bowl of ramen. Dahyun knew this ramen was going to taste especially good since it was going to be for free. Jihyo had lost a bet against Dahyun and Momo that Sana wouldn't ask her out. Jihyo, now a happy couple with Sana, was going to have an empty pocket after Dahyun and Momo were done tonight. Dahyun's stomach was empty. She hadn't eaten since breakfast for this specific moment, just to spite Jihyo when she bought so much food. Momo was guaranteed to pig out too. Dahyun loved that about her.

She wasn't like some other girls she knew who worried about their weight and constantly watched what they ate to stay in shape. Momo didn't care. She ate whatever she wanted and gained weight proudly as if it were an indication of her wealth.

_"I gained a full two kilograms on my trip back to Japan." She smiled wide._

_"Bullshit." Nayeon scoffed. "You never gain weight." Momo looked highly offended and shoved her girlfriend with her shoulder. She reached to Dahyun and took her hands._

_"Nayeon doesn't know shit about me Dahyunie." She said, making Dahyun's face light up. "I DID gain two kilos. I ate well!"_

She was weird like that, and it made Dahyun smile. If Jihyo was lucky, she might have a few won left to purchase an ice-cream from a convenience store on the way out of the restaurant. But truthfully, this ice-cream would probably be for Momo too.

"FUCK I'M HUNGRY!" Momo yelled as the three girls walked down the streets. Passers-by stared in frustration at the profanities and the noise.

"Fuck, I'll be broke in a few minutes." Jihyo muttered, causing Dahyun to laugh out loud.

"Only because you're dumb enough to think that Sana wasn't head over heels for you." Momo commented. She turned around to walk backwards while talking. Dahyun was worried she would trip.

"I swore she was into Dahyun." Jihyo rubbed the back of her neck.

"All she ever talked about to me was you, stupid." Dahyun laughed. It shocked her how someone could be so dense.

"Yeah." Momo started to skip backwards like an idiot. "Every second word out of her mouth was 'Jihyo'."

"No, it wasn't"

"You thinking Sana was into Dahyun is like thinking that Dahyun is into me!" She laughed, turning back around and kicking a plastic cup discarded outside a public bin. "Crazy!"

Dahyun's heart slowed at this. Her and Momo was... crazy? She didn't think it was crazy. Well, maybe a bit since she already had a girlfriend, but what was there not to like about Momo? She was funny, a little wild, cute AND sexy as hell and she gave the softest, warmest hugs. Dahyun wouldn't say that she was into Momo, she would say she was in LOVE with her. But... maybe that was a bit too crazy.

Her chest felt suddenly tight, and her eyes blurred with tears and the cold sweat that had begun to pour down her face and body.

"I feel sick." She mumbled.

Everything was a rush. The coughing. The vomit. Her legs collapsed and Momo and Jihyo were at her side in an instant, along with a crowd of passers-by, circling her like vultures. She shivered and coughed and choked on tears and vomit and blood.

"What the...?" Dahyun could hear Momo's voice as if at the end of a dark tunnel. It echoed and pounded in her ears. "Are those... petals?"

Dahyun awoke in a hospital bed, surrounded by her friends. Even Mina, who she knew despised hospitals, had faced her fears to see her. Her heart swelled with gratitude as she scanned the faces of the girls she loved so much before her eyes landed on the one who she loved most. Then her heart sank.

Her cheeks were aflame in seconds, memories of what had happened before she had blacked out flooding her mind. She looked away from Momo just as she was bombarded with kisses.

"KIM DAHYUN YOU SCARED ME!" Jeongyeon cried, grasping her hand. Dahyun forgot about her embarrassment when she saw tears in the girl's eyes. "YOU'VE SHAVED ABOUT TEN YEARS OFF MY LIFE!"

"Shut up!" Chaeyoung whispered. "Other people are in here you know."

"What's going on?" Dahyun sat up in her hospital bed and looked around at her friends. "What happened? How long was I out?"

"We don't know." Sana said, glaring at Momo and Jihyo who stood on the other side of her bed. "They won't tell us anything."

"We know as much as you do." Momo frowned, linking her fingers with Nayeon's for comfort. Dahyun couldn't remember if she had ever held Momo's hand like that before. She wondered if it was as comfortable as her hugs.

Before anyone could get another word out, a man walked into the room and up to Dahyun's bed. He smiled and placed a pair of rimless glasses on the bridge of his nose. The badge displayed on his white coat read: Dr Sagong – Cardiologist. What would she need a cardiologist for?

"Good morning." He said cheerfully. "My name is Dr Sagong, a cardiologist here. You must be Kim Dahyun?" He said, glancing down at his papers. Morning. Dahyun must have been out for a long time.

"Yes." Dahyun mumbled in reply.

"Good, good." He straightened his posture and moved closer to her. He pulled a stethoscope from around his neck. "Do you mind?" He asked, placing the buds into his ears and lifting the end. Dahyun shook her head and allowed the doctor to listen to her heat. He asked her to breathe in and out a few times before humming softly and nodding. He returned the stethoscope to its place around his neck and stepped back slightly.

"I don't know if your friends told you or not, but we performed a scan on you while you remained unconscious." She began. "Once you arrived at the hospital, we received word that you had been coughing up a foreign substance that could be described as 'petal-like'."

Dahyun frowned. It was like that day in the café wasn't it.

"We took a CT scan and a chest X-ray, and we have a confirmed diagnosis." He stated. He looked grave as he said this. "Would you like to see your X-rays to allow me to explain?"

Dahyun nodded slowly.

"Are you serious?" Momo raised her voice. Nayeon tried to calm her down, but it was no use. "Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of a question is that!" Dahyun could see tears in her eyes. "Of COURSE, she wants to see them."

Nayeon was whispering into her ear as she doctor nodded.

"I understand, but please refrain from speaking that way or I'll have to ask you to leave."

Dahyun's heart raced at the thought of Momo's protectiveness, but she frowned again as the doctor pulled out a tablet displaying an X-ray.

The picture was remarkable. At first, nothing seemed notable, but on closer inspection a strange shape could be seen snaking across the chest toward the neck. A long thin vine. Several, all winding themselves in knots. Each ended in a cloud like substance at the end. It was unmistakable.

"They're flowers. Daisies." The doctor began, straightening his glasses. The room was dead silent as he continued his explanation.

"Kim Dahyun-ssi, I regret to inform you that you have contracted hanahaki disease." The word 'disease' made Dahyun's heart race and her mouth run dry.

"You have several daisies growing inside your heart and lungs. If not treated, they may cause extreme pain, cause mass blood loss, obstructions to blood flow and airways and..." He swallowed. "Will result in death." The silence remained at his words. The only sound that Dahyun could hear was her own heart. The heart that may never beat again.

"What is the cause?" Momo asked, her voice much quieter than before. She looked fragile, Dahyun thought.

The doctor shook his head slightly.

"This may sound ridiculous, but hanahaki disease is actually caused by unrequited love." All eyes were on Dahyun in an instant. "The flowers growing inside of Dahyun will be the favourite type of the person she is in love with."

"How do you make it stop?" Chaeyoung mumbled, her eyes fixated on Dahyun.

"There are two treatment options. Only two." The doctor began. "The first is non-medical and is simply that the person she loves returns her feelings of affection. The second is a surgical removal of the flowers from the heart and the lungs." He straightened his glasses again. Dahyun was starting to think it was a nervous tick. "The prognosis of patients who opt for the non-medical treatment is poor, so I would recommend the surgery. There is almost a one hundred percent chance of a full recovery, but there is one consequence."

Dahyun swallowed.

"What's that?" She whispered.

"You'll lose the love you feel for that person."


	2. PART 2 - Loving Hirai Momo

Dahyun couldn't remember a moment when she hadn't loved Momo. From the first time that she had laid eyes on her from afar in the back of a dance studio five years ago, she'd known that Momo was the only person that Dahyun would ever love.

She'd arrived, only to accompany Chaeyoung to watch her girlfriend in her ballet recital. Dahyun had told Chae over and over how much she hated to watch people dance. Dahyun couldn't stand looking at the un-natural movements that bodies could make. All she saw when people danced was bodies throwing themselves on the ground in a fancy way to the beat of a boring song. She especially hated ballet. They looked so stiff and she was always worried that their bones would break as they tiptoed across the stage. But Chaeyoung wouldn't have any of it.

No matter what Dahyun said, Chaeyoung dragged her through those doors and into an uncomfortable fold out seat set up haphazardly against a wall of a tiny dance studio.

"It will only be about an hour." Chaeyoung muttered as the lights dimmed and everyone seated themselves in the room. Dahyun felt claustrophobic and hot, but she was forced to sit through performance after performance of skinny dancers flitting across the creaky stage, barely managing to restrain themselves, it seemed, to throw themselves into the audience. It was the most uncomfortable experience of her life.

"Yes!" Whispered Chaeyoung. "It's Mina!" She was right. Her girlfriend stood on stage among five others, poised with her arms out in front and her toes pointed. Dahyun could see her ribs underneath the leotard and it was making her uncomfortable.

The music began, a classical piece with a harpsichord twanging away in the background. It was horrible. Then the girls began to move. For a few seconds, Dahyun kept her eyes on Mina, allowing the harpsichord to distract her from the ribs. Then all of a sudden, her eyes shifted as another girl twirled to the front of the group.

Dahyun's eyes slowed down time like a cheesy scene from a romance film as she watched the most beautiful girl, she had ever seen make ballet look like an addicting movie. Her body was toned and muscled, her legs long and elegant as they pranced forward and back, her back straight, but not overly so, and her arms floating on the air as if they were in some sort of fluid.

It was weird, Dahyun thought as she watched the girl, that they were all dressed the same; dark hair tied in tight buns, white tutus and stockings with silk ballet slippers, but this girl stood out like a sore thumb... but in a good way. Instead of looking bad, she made the others next to her look like amateurs – not that Dahyun understood a thing about dancing.

She looked like she genuinely enjoyed what she was doing, her face lighting up when the music brightened and her eyes narrowing and glimmering as it became sad. This wasn't dancing, Dahyun realised. It was emotion.

Before she knew what had happened, the group bowed, and the lights switched off and she was enveloped in the hot sticky darkness again.

"That was epic!" Chaeyoung whispered. "She was so beautiful, wasn't she?" It took Dahyun a moment to realise that Chaeyoung wasn't at all talking about the girl. She was talking about Mina.

"Uh, Yeah." She muttered. "Um, do you know the names of the other girls in the group?" She asked. Maybe she could find out about the mystery girl.

"Mina can introduce you to them after the concert. They were amazing, weren't they?" Dahyun laughed nervously and nodded, feeling slightly guilty that she had completely ignored the person she had come to watch.

That's where she first met Hirai Momo. In the change rooms of a tiny dance studio, barely able to fit one hundred people in it.

"MINA YOU WERE SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Chaeyoung yelled and pulled her girlfriend into her arms. I stood to the side, scanning the room for my mystery girl.

"Ooooh." Someone said from behind her. "So, this is your girlfriend Minari." Mina peaked from around Chaeyoung's neck and she smiled bashfully, her cheeks dusted pink.

"Shut up, Momo."

Dahyun turned and had to stop her mouth from dropping open. Her mystery girl stood before her dressed in a matching black tracksuit, her hair still pulled into its bun and her face glistening with a light layer of sweat. She payed Dahyun no attention as she took a swig from a water bottle and then proceeded to burp loudly.

"FUCKING HELL I'M SPENT!" She screamed as she stretched her arms above her head, and from that moment onward, Dahyun was in love.

It was a hell of an experience – being in love with Momo. She was the sweetest, yet rudest person Dahyun knew. One second, she was hugging you and showering you with kisses, opening your chocolate wrappers for you and holding the door. The next she would be swearing like a sailor, flipping you off and stealing your chocolate for herself.

She forced Dahyun to socialise and meet her now forever friends. She made Dahyun try wasabi on her sushi and now she couldn't eat sushi without it. She tricked her into applying to a university she though she knew she would hate, but now she would never go anywhere else. It was like Momo knew Dahyun better than she knew herself without even asking her a thing. She even liked ballet if Momo was the one dancing.

Meeting Momo was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She'd tried so many new things, met so many new people and had fallen in love. It was like a perfect story. A perfect story that Dahyun wasn't sure if she was ready to throw away so quickly.

She sat in the hospital bed and stared at the doctor; her eyes wide as tears began to fall.

"I won't... I won't love them anymore?" She stuttered

He nodded.

"Hanahaki is fatal otherwise." His voice was deep and concerned. "I know this may be a hard decision for you. I'll let you and your friends decide the best plan of action alone. If you need me, don't hesitate to ask." He left silently.

"What the actual fuck?" Momo said, her eyes tearing up. "I'll fucking force the bitch that doesn't love you to change their mind!" She exclaimed. "What the hell is there not to love about Dahyunie. What an absolute shit. What kind of piece of trash would do this to Dahyun?"

The irony of her words made Dahyun begin to laugh which in turn caused a sharp pain in her chest. She flinched, and Momo was at her side in a second, tears streaming down her face. She pulled Dahyun into her arms so that her head rested against Momo's chest. She could hear her heart beating hard. Hard and strong. It was a shame that it beat for Nayeon instead of her.

"Who is it Dahyun?" She heard Jihyo ask from behind her. "Maybe we can help you both rather than put you under the knife."

Dahyun pulled her head out of Momo's embrace to look at Jihyo.

"You heard the doctor. The prognosis is poor. It's really not gonna work even if you know who she is."

"Well it's worth a try isn't it?" Nayeon said. Dahyun looked to her, her body cringing at the thought of ever saying who was causing this disease. She felt so guilty.

"I don't think I can tell you." Dahyun muttered.

That was all they needed to hear for them to know. Nayeon's face softened and her eyes glided over to Momo's face, her mouth twitched into a sad smile. Dahyun felt horrible.

Momo looked to her; her face frozen in shock. She wasn't dumb. She knew what Dahyun meant by 'I don't think I can tell you'.

"Dahyunie...?" She mumbled a look of complete and utter guilt falling across her face. She looked pale and frightened as she realised that she was the one who had caused Dahyun's illness... well, Dahyun couldn't really find it in her to blame Momo. It was her own fault for falling in love with her all those years ago.

"Sorry you had to find out like this." She was mostly talking to Nayeon when she said this. She found it almost impossible to look at Momo when she looked so upset.

"Can't we do something, Dahyunie?" Momo whined and leaned her head against Dahyun's shoulder. She could feel the tears soaking through her hospital gown.

"No Momo-unnie. There's nothing." She felt her own eyes tear up. She had no choice now.

"The only thing I can do is have the surgery."

Loving Hirai Momo was the best thing that had ever happened to Dahyun. But she didn't love her enough to end her life.

"I love you." She breathed as Momo sobbed andNayeon looked on.


	3. FINAL PART - Loving Kim Dahyun

Momo's feelings were hurt more than her throat as she continued to cough and splutter, pulling out the stems of roses, causing the thorns to scrape her throat raw. She'd never asked about Dahyun's favourite flower. If she'd known beforehand, she would have made sure to admit she was in love with her sooner, but she guessed she was four years and one girlfriend too late for that.

If the hardest part was the pain, the next was keeping it a secret. She wasn't able to do it for long. Nayeon had found her in the bathroom bleeding badly and passed out from pain, the blood red petals scattered across the floor.

She'd refused to go to hospital. Outright refused. Nayeon would cry to her for hours on end about it. Telling her over and over to get the surgery. To get it over with.

"You know Dahyun won't ever love you back." She said, gripping Momo's hands. Her face streamed with tears. "You'll die! Please... Momo... You'll die." But all Momo could do was shake her head and cough some more.

"SUCCESS!" Chaeyoung yelled as Dahyun slowly awoke from her four-hour operation to remove the daisies from her heart and lungs. Watching Dahyun's eyes open and a smile stretch across her face in a slightly drunken manor made Momo laugh, causing the others to join in.

"Yayyyy..." She groaned.

"Do you... feel anything?" Nayeon asked cautiously.

"Nah." She said, her eyes half lidded. "Momo's just my good old friend. You always were Momoring. Forget whatever I said before the operation. That's all gone. You don't have to worry now!"

Momo felt a pain in her chest.

Momo wondered why she always realised things too late.

Momo wished she had the guts to grow up and have the surgery. To forget. Just like Dahyun had done.

But she never wanted to forget this feeling.

"Who was I to you then?" Nayeon screamed. "Just a fling? A distraction? Was what we had really nothing to you?"

"WHY DO YOU THINK IT TOOK DAHYUN SO FUCKING LONG TO GET THAT DAMNED DISEASE? WHY DO YOU THINK THE GOT IT ALL OF A SUDDEN?

I was so sure that I wasn't good enough for the girl I had been in love with for four years. I was so sure I would never be able to treat her like she deserved to be treated.

Yes, Nayeon. I will admit that at first you were a distraction, but after our year together... I did feel something. I loved you.

Then hearing Dahyun's feelings for me brought back the past I had left behind. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen."

Momo was a horrible person. She knew that.

Nayeon deserved better.

"Dahyun, there's something I need to tell you." Momo shifted from foot to foot.

"Shoot." She muttered, staring out in front of her.

"I'm in love with you."

She was silent.

"That's not fair Momo." She said after a while, her voice shaking.

There was another silence.

"Why is your favourite flower a rose? You know... with thorns?" Momo asked, refusing to look at Dahyun, because she knew she was crying.

"Because..." She sobbed hard and long, a sound that Momo never wanted to hear. "Because they remind me of you."

Momo laughed through her own tears, feeling another jab of pain shoot through her chest.

"I don't know whether I should be offended or flattered." She said. Dahyun sighed.

"Because you're so beautiful and passionate and intense and annoying and rude and you suck." She sobbed again and Momo turned to see Dahyun's face drenched in tears and her cheeks flushed. "And I can't feel a thing for you anymore. It's like a piece of my heart is missing and it's worse than any disease I could have died from."

Momo didn't want to get rid of the part of her heart that was reserved for Dahyun.

Dying for love was way better than living without it.

Momo couldn't clear Dahyun's beautiful smile from her mind as she closed her eyes and felt the flowers push themselves up and out of her mouth. A dangerous bouquet that grew from her heart...

...just for Dahyun.


End file.
